My Life as a Gamer's Wife

May 28, 2012 3:09 pm

9gag:

Good Idea

2,953 notes

12:10 pm

(Source: emmaxlouise, via thats-so-meme)

26,076 notes

May 27, 2012 4:22 pm

Da Fuq?

(Source: themorallycorruptfayeresnick)

584 notes

3:48 pm

Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

37,057 notes

3:41 pm

bunnyfood:

(via)

3,993 notes

3:21 pm

To my Harley-Riding Neighbor:

You, Sir, are a complete Douche-nozzle! No one gives a flying Fuck that you own a ridiculously loud POS fucking motorcycle. Revving the Fucking engine for fifteen minutes before you even move the damn thing (and doing so an average of 5 FUCKING TIMES A DAY!!!) WILL NOT change this… I realize that it is considered “Cool” to ride a Harley where ever you go, but YOU ARE NOT “COOL”, nor are you a “Badass Muthafucka wit a badass raad!”
STFU and go fuck yourself with a razor-laced dildo!!!

Sincerely,
FUCK YOU!!!